


this was a vent fic and does not deserve a proper title

by onetrueobsession



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Don't Read This, Hurt No Comfort, I'm so sorry, If this upsets anyone I WILL delete it, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Please Read All Tags, Suicide, TRIGGER WARNING: SUCCESSFUL SUICIDE, This was purely for vent purposes, What Is Wrong With ME, no happy ending, sorry - Freeform, trigger warning, vent fic, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 17:07:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8454730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onetrueobsession/pseuds/onetrueobsession
Summary: This was written purely for vent purposes. !TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE! If this upsets anyone, I will delete it, no questions asked.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry. No one has to read this, that will be perfectly okay. Good even.

“Ren. I know you’re in there.”

Hux stood outside Kylo’s quarters, arms crossed, glaring at him through it. The knight had been sleeping in for six days in a row now. It wasn’t Hux’s responsibility to keep getting him up, but if he didn’t, Ren could be suspended whether he was an official officer or not.

“If you don’t open this door, I’m opening it myself.” No reply. He let out a huff. _I’m waiting!_ He knew Ren picked up on his thoughts without even meaning too sometimes. He doubted this would be any different.

_Fine then. We’ll do this the hard way._ He jabbed the override code into the keypad and the door slid open with a hiss.

“That’s it Ren! I’ve-” That was odd. Ren’s bed was made and the knight was nowhere to be found. Hux glanced around the room, seeing no sign of him. Then he saw the light coming from beneath the door of Ren’s ‘fresher. He swallowed hard, feeling sick to his stomach. Something obviously wasn’t right here.

He reached his hand out to press the opener, hesitating for a moment before pressing his finger to the button.

He nearly threw up.

Ren was lying motionless on the floor of the ‘fresher, in the corner so that he was sitting upright leaned against the wall.

_No._

His skin was impossibly white, his eyes still halfway open, lifeless and dull.

_This wasn't happening._

There was a gaping wound in Ren’s stomach, perfectly circular.

_Hux was not seeing this._

The knight’s legs were folded partially in front of him, his lap covered in dried blood. Hux couldn’t help but notice the now unignited lightsabre still loosely clutched in Kylos gloved hand.

The general willed himself forward, kneeling down next to Kylo on shaky legs.

He should be running to the intercom, shouting for the medbay droids to get to Ren's quarters immediately and don't delay. But he knew it was hopeless, Kylo was gone.

_Please, not like this._

The knight didn't deserve to die like this, in so much pain he thought the only way to make it stop was to take his own life. There was no note. In Ren's eyes, who would've read it?

Hux reached out, running a hand gently through Kylos hair. He avoided making contact with his skin, not wanting to feel the ice-coldness he knew was present. He mentally scolded himself, swallowing the lump in his throat.

He wasn't supposed to care about him, he was supposed to hate him, be _glad_ that he was dead. But still, his chest ached at the thought of someone Hux had thought to be so strong giving up like this.

Hux wondered how it happened. If Kylo had cried his eyes out or if he'd been completely calm.

His eyes filled with tears, and once they started they didn't stop.

He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the knight, sobbing into the crook of his neck.

He stroked Kylos hair, told him he was perfect, _begged_ him to stay, did all the things that might've saved him if it hadn't been too late.

What would happen now? Hux was alone. He doubted Kylo had ever considered him a friend, so Hux had no idea why his heart was breaking. He held Kylo tighter, as tight as he could, his tears refusing to cease.

He let out a scream, he couldn't care less who heard him.

_This isn't real. It can't be real. It's not real it's not real **IT'S NOT REAL**_

His mind was on replay, denying the cold, harsh reality over and over again.


End file.
